POST 18

Okay...so guess what I'm doing this weekend......

I'm going on safari, again. I am going with the children at Upendo on Friday to Tarangire National Park. After safari with the kids a friend will pick me up at the park and we will stay out the parks Friday night. Saturday I will go to the Ngorongoro Crater. Then Ill come back Saturday night. Im so very excited about this. I cant wait to see the faces of the kids when they see all the animals. It will be so exciting for them!!!! I'm excited about the crater too. I'm excited about this because its where we were headed the first time we went on safari. I want to see what we were so excited about. I want to do it for the girls and for myself! It will be hard, but thats okay....ill get through it.

These are my last couple days at CCS. Im pretty excited about moving out and living in an apt. Who would have guess id be moving into an apt in africa. Its excited to get the another experience out of it. Ill no longer have transport to work so Ill walk or cab it. Ill have to cook my own food. which is interesting. Since we cant drink the water here you have to boil it for so longer before you can use it to cook with. theres not real stoves and no oven. Its a big learning experience! Its exciting!!! :):):):):):)

POST 17

The other day I was talking to Moses, the head house director at the CCS house Shanty Town, he was asking my how I was doing and how my family was doing. He made the comment to me how proud of me he was and he could only think about how proud my family is of me. He was telling me how strong I have been over the past 3 months, that i have dealt with some pretty heavy stuff. He said i was strong because i just keep on going, that im still here and i even extended. But the thing is is that when i think back to the wreck, and i do often....very often, something it feels like im thinking about a movie or a book. If it wasnt for the funny feeling in my head or the pain in my shoulder, ribs and back i would think it was a movie. Sometimes its hard for me to believe that in a matter of 30 seconds a lifetime dream got turned into a nightmare. Its hard for me to believe that i was in an african hospital sharing twin beds because there wasnt enough for all of us. Its hard for me to believe that a chicken jumped on my head on the way to the hospital. Its tough knowing Elizabeth should be here but isnt. This past week has been tough not being with my family. It was hard not being able to be there to say a final goodbye to Papa Bud...but then again i guess its not goodbye its a 'see you later' because i will see him again. I keep going becuase I have to. My kids at placement have been my saving grace. And the thing is...i know my family is proud of me but im proud of them. I got my strength from them. The night of the wreck i was talking to dad on the phone and i told him to book me the next flight home and he said he wouldnt do it because i needed to take some time and then make that decision. I know that was hard for mom and dad both, but im thankful everyday that they wouldnt fly me home right away. I know I talk often about wanting to stay and wanting to come back and while that is VERY VERY VERY true I DO miss my family. I miss very specific things. Like with Jana...I miss her calling me in the middle of summer to tell me happy birthday when my bday isnt til october. I miss telling her i like something and getting a response of 'oh good, i invented it.' With dad....I miss his gray hair and him doing stuff like turning up the music at the lake as loud as it will go and stomping around the kitchen because he thinks im asleep. With mom...i miss her strong personality and her eye brow raises. haha. i miss the way she will say "oh lilly" while slamming her foot down and putting her hand on her hip when lilly jumps in the pool. haha. and of course i miss stuff about the grandparents too. But the point is....people keep telling me how proud they are of me but the truth is i would be here without my family, without the love and support. So im grateful for that.

Anyway... the other day at placement a little girl, Mary Stella, looked up at me and said 'I love you'. It melted my heart. I love her too! This isnt the first time she said it but it melts my heart everytime.

I lost count of what number post...pole sana

Thanks Tammy for the comment...im so excited i made the board at the office!!



Grandpa passed away this past week. Its been tough being so far away from home. I wish I could be there to give my love and hugs to my family. But they are right, I'm doing good things here. Grandpa was a great man and will be missed very very much!! I'm thankful for the last conversation I had with him. The last thing he said to me was how much he loved me and how proud of me he was! I loved him but he is in a better place now and we will meet again one day.



In other news... Ive been doing some thinking about being in Africa. I have had the highest highs and lowest lows here in Africa. I dont even know where to being as to what ive been thinking. My mind constantly wonders as to how Ill get back here. I always seem to have a new plan...a better plan. In all honestly, the thought crossed my mind the other day....what if i just dont get on the plane. Couldnt do that, I want to see my family. I mean, if someone had told me a year ago that I would be perfectly happy without a dishwasher, credit cards, malls, my car, manis and pedis, messages, washer and dryer (and yes, i have been washing my clothes by myself by hand), normal toilets (they have holes in the ground at most places), TV, movies, my computer, wii bowling, true american food, and so much more I would have told them they were crazy, crazy. Yet, here i am almost 3 months into being in africa and im happy in where i am AND im trying to figure out how to come back.


My kids are doing great. Im still loving all of them. They have been giving the opportunity to go on safari and I was asked to go with them. So next week, on the 21st, I will be going on safari again with my kids! I'm so excited. I just love them...i dont know whatelse to say. It hurts my heart that their families didnt realize how special these children really are. Most of my kids have been left on the street by their family, a couple were given up by the father because the mother died in child birth and some have lost both parents to HIV/AIDS. I just want so bad for them to know that there is somebody who loves them!


I guess I better run! Love all and miss all!

Post 15

Jana are you the only one who reads my blog? Mom doesnt even comment any more!

Its raining here today and the van couldnt get down the road to placement so I couldnt go. :( :( I'm kinda bored I wish I was at Upendo!

I tried a new place for dinner last night. It was nice. I had pizza. YUMMY! Italian Passion is the name of the place. Its in town...about a $3 cab ride.

Post 14

Post 13

Just a small update.

Things are going really good! I am still loving it here!! Infact, the plan as of now is for me to stay 2 weeks longer. So my new date of coming home will be around december 6!! :) :) :) :) :) :) (and i might come home with several kids!) Everything is good here. its very hottttttt.. and it will only get worse. Its election day and africa is very tuned into whats going on im america. Ill be watching the results as they come in....it will be in the early early morning here. kinda exciting! Thats it for now!

Post Twelve

My only comment for today is that..... a kid a work bit my butt...twice. haha. i just love my kids....they make me laugh!